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Parents responsible for some of their children`s problems

12th October 2011
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It is every parent’s dream to raise well behaved and well adjusted children. Day in day out, parents struggle to find the best ways of raising well balanced children. We try to analyse and assess the things that we believe to be the causes of bad children.

Has it ever occurred to us that at times we are our own enemies; we are the root cause of problem children? It is surprising to note that most of us are very much worried about our children and how they behave but at the same time we are the reason why other people’s children misbehave.

Why am I saying all this? Just hang on a second and you will soon get a clear picture of what’s happening on the ground. On Sunday afternoon, my husband and I went out with some relatives of ours who were in Dare s Salaam for a business meeting. Sunday was their last day here so we decided to take them to one of the beach clubs to spend the afternoon.

Whilst there, we learnt that one of the popular group of musicians was going to play there later in the evening so we decided to extent our stay there and enjoy ourselves a bit.

As the night got older, more and more people started pouring into the venue. We also called a certain couple we are friends with so that we could share the joy.

Whilst on the dance door, we noticed that there were quite a number of men who were dancing and caressing young girls, young enough to be their daughters if not granddaughters and the same applies to women. They also were doing the same to young boys young enough to be their grandsons or sons in other cases.

This thing really irked my nerves and I was kind of surprised by what these elderly people were doing. I asked myself whether the same people would be happy to find their kids in relationships with elderly men or women and if not, why then were they abusing other people’s children? Food for thought I suppose.

I also wondered whether we will be able to harness teen pregnancies, early motherhood, HIV/Aids and all the problems associated with it if the very men and women who should be protecting children are the ones abusing them.

As grown up people, we should treat all young children like our own children and strive to protect them instead of viewing them with lust.

We cannot end these problems as long as we would like to consider any young boy or girl that we see as our sex partner and start thinking of ways to rush them to bed.

There is need for grown up people to take stock of their actions and stop preaching water and drinking wine when it comes to issues pertaining to behaviour of teens. Honestly, how do we expect our own teens to behave well when we as parents are going out with other people’s teenagers doing the unimaginable?

I strongly believe that tougher measures should be instituted against individuals who are in the habit of engaging in affairs with young children.

This should be discouraged at all costs and there should be no turning back. We would like our children to behave well and the starting point is for us to behave well.

Charity begins at home so it is said. Where will we get the guts to correct our own children if we are not exemplary as parents? I believe we should go a step further than just correcting our individual behaviour and start talking to adults who are not behaving rightly so that they too change and help us foster balanced children.

Silence will not take us anywhere. All men and women abusing young children should be exposed and brought to book. They should not be allowed to walk Scott free.

We cannot sit back and watch women and men of age destroy young lives by luring them with money and other worldly goodies. Children need to be taught that life is not all about money and material things but more to do with upholding one’s values and commanding respect.

Before we point fingers at our children for misbehaviour, we should first correct ourselves and ensure hat we are behaving the right way.

Children learn by seeing and imitating therefore we have to be sure about what we are doing because that’s exactly what our children will follow. I will leave you with this question today, will you be happy to let your family witness some of the things you do when you are out there or you will be ashamed? Happy parenting!

msimbiso@gmail.com

SOURCE: THE GUARDIAN
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