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Sumptuous party for guests but miserable life for brides
2005-09-28 07:16:04
By Deogratias Mushi
It is Saturday afternoon. And I am standing outside the office of Media Institute of Southern Africa (MISA-Tan) located at the junction of Nkurumah and Uhuru streets in Dar es Salaam. This is where I work.
Four Tanzanians of Asian origin – Indians, to be precise -, pondering how to spend their weekend, are standing nearby. I can overhear their talk. One of them proposes that they should go for a movie at World Cinema centre, located at Mikocheni area along Bagamoyo Road.
As I am about to leave the place, two convoys of newly wedded couples pass near the place we are standing. The first one, with the bride and the groom in a Mercedes Benz in the middle of the convoy, is comprised of four saloon cars.
Leading the convoy is a pickup carrying a local brass band. They are blowing trumpets in a melodious, ceremonial song.
Then emerged another convoy, the second one comprised of ten saloon cars and two minibuses.
The destination was the sea shore, where the newly wedded couples were going to take some photos, and of course kill time before going to the ukumbi (hall) where an evening party would be held.
Mind you – only for those who contributed.
After the two wedding processions, the Indians start talking among themselves about how local Tanzanians of African origins celebrate their weddings, spending million of shillings on the occasion.
I find it to be an interesting topic. So I draw myself close to follow their discussion.
One of them says that the cheapest wedding in Dar es Salaam costs about 1.5m/- while others could even cost up to 20m/-. On overage, one of them affirmed, a normal wedding in Dar es Salaam or Arusha costs at least 3.5m/-. The four Indians pinpointed the pros and cons of such weddings.
They said one of the advantages connected to such celebrations is that it is the only occasions that bring people together as family or friends. From the human point of view therefore, it consolidates and immortalizes the traditional idea of life sharing.
However, there was a negative side of such grandiose wedding ceremonies, they said.
Too much money is spent within hours. The Indians argued that less money could be used, without losing the spirit of helping each other. Eventually they left.
There was a point in the two Indians’ argument. There is a need to reassess the occasion and see whether we should continue spending millions on weddings, while at times we fail to finance the same relatives and friends in projects that would improve their lives.
Of course one would find it easier to contribute about 20,000 shillings for a wedding of a friend or relative than spend the same amount in assistance for the poor living in one’s neighbourhood.
We should reach a point whereby money used in weddings is channeled into other socio-economic plants to help the newly wedded couple.
In other words, we continue with the current system of contributing huge sums through vikaos, but at the end of the day burning all the money contributed for the welfare of the prospective brides.
If the total wedding collection is 3m/-, for instance, the budget may be planned in a way that only 1m/- is spent for the ceremony, and the rest of the money is given to the brides for a merry beginning of their matrimonial life.
I am giving that advice because I have seen the brides from poor families get assistance from relatives and friends to hold a grand wedding reception. After the ceremony, however, they literally have nothing to live on.
Of course well-to-do families can afford such huge and expensive wedding ceremonies, and spend as much as they like, but for those who belong to the middle or lower economic class, ought to be prudent and act wisely with their financial expenditure on weddings.
The preparatory committee should ensure that there is a substantial amount set aside for a happy post-wedding life of the brides.
I have spent some years in Kenya, and at most weddings I attended there, only tea and bread was served. There were no expensive beverages in the form of bottles of castle beer, Safari, Kilimanjaro, let alone Heinekein, Windhoek or Bavaria.
I am confidently sure that we can still hold wonderful wedding ceremonies on church compounds with light beverages and snacks without grandiose parties in expensive, palatial halls. Think about that!!
deomushi@guardian.co.tz
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