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Adolescence: Girl child’s most difficult phase in life
2005-12-28 09:17:49
By Grayson Farah
Adolescence is the most trying time for girls and they go through a lot of trials and tribulations during this time. Some of the decisions made at this particular point in time might ruin the life of an individual.
Most girls become aware or their womanhood at adolescence, the breasts grow bigger, the menstrual cycle begins, the body grows big and the beautiful curves start to manifest themselves.
This is the time when the girl starts grooming herself and looking very smart. She takes care of her hair, eyebrows, lips, skin, legs and much more.
The girl becomes very conscious of the clothes she puts on. But this is the time when all her endeavours attract men.
Men start noticing her beauty and they usually come up with ideas. Some of these ideas are constructive whilst others are destructive. But for some reason most girls meet the wrong man at this stage.
A lot of girls I spoke to regret their first encounter with a man, not that all girls have the same experience.
I spoke to Mwanaidi Hali a 15-year-old girl who is taking care of her 2-month-old baby. She explained how a married man cheated her. She said, ’he was so understanding and caring at first.
What made me fall into this trap is that I come from a very poor family and my parents could hardly afford the bus fare for me to go to and from school. So I used to walk from home in Manzese to school in town.’
She narrated how a certain man spotted her walking from school everyday. She went on to say, ’Mbarak is the name of the man and he runs a business in Magomeni.
Whenever, I was coming from school on foot, past his shop, tired, thirsty and hungry he would offer me something to drink or eat. Initially I used to refuse though I knew that when I got home I would not get a decent meal.’ As she was explaining I could see the pain on her face.
Mwanaidi continued with her sad story, ’eventually I became used to him and I trusted him.
He then started offering me the bus fare for my transport to school. Later on he started offering a lot of presents and plenty of food and drinks.
He looked so innocent, he fooled me and made me believe he was only helping because he wanted me to succeed in my education.
I believed him and I thought he was a nice guy, my ’guardian angel.’ Little did I know that he was a hyena in a sheep’s clothing .’
She went on to explain how he had started taking her out for lunch then finally dinner.
She said, ’ things took a new turn, we went for dinner one day, it was nothing new but surprisingly he opted for a separate dining room from the rest of the clients at the hotel. I discovered later on that it was a plot.
We had our meal and afterwards he poured a drink in my glass .
I drank the beverage happily but after some minutes I passed out.’
After this she recalled that when she woke up she was in bed next to him.
She went on to explain her ordeal, ’I could not believe it, and I thought it was one of those nightmares.
However, after a couple of minutes I felt pain between my legs and I knew what had happened. He tried to comfort me by telling me all sorts of sweet things but I hated him. He had cheated me after I gave him all my trust. Poverty made me vulnerable.’
Mwanaidi decided to avoid him from that day onwards, but after four months she discovered that she was pregnant.
She immediately contacted him but he denied responsibility categorically, he even went further to tell her that he was happily married and had no intention of divorcing his wife for whatever reason.
She tried to pursue him but the blissful moments they had shared had been replaced by noxious and horrifying clashes, whereby she got all sorts of insults whenever she tried to contact him.
She was subsequently thrown out of school and her parents disowned her.
She had no choice but to seek refuge from a distant relative who is a prostitute. She was eventually trained to earn a living through prostitution.
Initially she attracted a lot of clients because of her tender age, but as the pregnancy progressed and her tummy grew bigger the clients started shunning her.
Things got worse and her relative threw her out. Luckily she was taken in by a certain NGO.
Mwanaidi is not the only one. A lot of girls find themselves in similar circumstances.
All that glitters is not gold, men make promises, and some of them can fulfill the promises while a good number cannot.
It is up to the girls to make the right decisions and avoid situations which make them victims.
While it is very good and human to trust but at times it might be costly. Mwanaidi trusted Mbarak but he betrayed her.
Early pregnancies cause a lot of inconveniences. The affected girl drops out o school and the family is disrupted. The girl will never be able to realize her full potential. She also becomes prone to sexually transmitted ailments and complications during childbirth.
The baby also suffers since proper attention and care will be lacking. Girls should be on the watch out lest they fall prey to those men whose aim is to sleep around with as many girls as possible. However, girls get their potential suitors at this stage of life so that should not close all doors and classify all men the same.
Not all men are bad. Some have good intentions. Unfortunately it is very difficult to tell who is who. The best advice is to take one step at a time.
If a man is genuine, he will always be patient and take his time. Needless to say there are some smooth operators who are aware of this.
They will take as much time as possible in order to seduce the girl.
But girls should make the necessary research about the man before they can trust and be close to him.
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