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Give children opportunities to choose their lifelong careers
2006-01-13 07:58:24
By Correspondent Maria Masebo
As you might all be aware of, it was unheard of for a child to decide to concentrate on non-academic subjects.
The reason being that all children were expected to take up the conventional professions like, teaching, nursing and to some extent law. Any profession other than the ones listed above would put the family’s name into disrepute and shame.
Given this background, one should therefore not be surprised to hear that most parents would not take it lightly if their child performed badly in purely academic subjects which would enable him or her to take up the so called noble professions.
They went to all extents to ensure that the children did well in those subjects.
A child could be subjected to severe beating or punishment in the event of failure to perform well in school examinations.
Some parents went to the extent of withdrawing certain privileges from their children if they did not perform well in the academic arena.
Up to this day I vividly remember how my father barred my brother from playing tennis for fear that it would interfere with his academic performance.
He was a genius academically, but he also played tennis very well.
At one time he won the national tennis tournament for juniors. He had the talent and he could have gone far if only he had been allowed to do so.
Trouble started when he had to miss school in order to play in some of the tournaments.
My father who was a headmaster then, and mind you a headmaster from the old school of thought which believe that every child had to be educated in order to take up a conventional career could not hear anything of that.
When he was driving us to school after the holidays, for we were in boarding school he stated in no uncertain terms that tennis was only to be played at home as a form of entertainment not at school.
’I send you to that school to study not play tennis. Sport is meant for refreshment and I am surprised you want to miss school and go to play tennis. Who have you seen earning a decent salary from playing tennis?’ He asked.
I was seated in the back seat of the car so I whispered, ”Byron Black, Cara Black and…’ I didn’t know that he was listening. I could not finish my statement because he chipped in angrily.
’So you are the one influencing him, you think your brother can become another Byron Black? Enough of that nonsense, you want to engage in funny professions.
What will happen if you break your leg or arm and cannot play anymore?
Over my dead body. Listen, and listen very carefully because I don’t want to waste my money if you want to play that damn tennis of yours, you complete your education first, get a decent job then you can start doing those funny things of yours.
If I am your father and am paying school fees then you forget about tennis, period.’ The old meant every word that he had said and knowing him the way we did we advised our brother to stop the game at least till things cooled down.
He took away the racket from my brother’s luggage and took it back home. He also told us that he would keep a close eye on him in case he wanted to defy his orders. That is how my brother’ hope of ever becoming a famous tennis player were shattered.
He did well in his academic career and is now working as an analyst programmer having acquired an Honours degree in computing science but sometimes we talk about his tennis career. Now we talk about it freely with our father and joke about it.
At least in the case of my brother he was intelligent and managed to do well in career and secured a job of his own choice he did not venture into the traditional careers.
But there are other cases which are painful, suppose he was dull and failed to do well in those academic subjects after being barred from playing tennis, what could have become of him?
I have a cousin who have six certificates and by saying six certificates I mean six separate sheets of the GCE Ordinary level examinations each with one pass recorded, there is only one which has two passes.
She was forced to repeat form four several times in order to acquire the five passes that would allow her to join a teachers’ training college or nursing school.
The girl was very talented in Fashion and fabrics and had suggested that it was better for her to join the school of dress making so that she could obtain a certificate in fashion and designing and work as a fashion designer but my uncle would not hear any of that.
By the time she obtained the six subjects, the college regulations had changed, they now wanted to enroll students who had acquired those passes from a maximum of two sittings. What was my poor cousin Sylvia to do with her six subjects obtained from five sittings?
Eventually, she did fashion and designing because there was no other option left for her and now she is successfully running a boutique in town.
We always joke about the years that she wasted re-sitting for the examinations.
At least that taught our parents a lesson and they were more flexible with their latter children.
Now they are very active in advising other parents not to be too strict with their children in terms of career choices.
They now realize the importance of identifying and developing a child’s talent instead of forcing the child to do what he or she is incapable of doing.
There are many parents who are still doing what my father and uncle did many years ago.
The truth of the matter is parents should only guide the children in making their career choices, they shouldn’t force them into doing things that they don’t want to do.
Most parents want to use their children to compensate for what they failed to achieve in life. Let the children make their choices as long as they are reasonable, advise but don’t impose things on them.
Happy parenting!
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