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When parents unleash their frustration on children
2006-06-22 09:14:45
By Ritah Wanza
’’No mommy …………No! Am sorry mom’’ nine-year-old Tamara cried out as her mom hit her across the face.
’’You are not sorry. You wicked brat, what did you tell your dad …….did you tell him that I punished you for breaking a plate? Did you tell him that you don’t deserve this? Did you? I hate you so much. Did you ……? Did you?
’’But little Tammie could no longer answer her mother. Her sobs had been drowned she screams as her mother hit her repeatedly.
At first with her high heels, and then with her fists, battering her chest, body and ribs, pounding at her, ripping at her, grabbing handfuls of her hair and nearly tearing it off her head and then slapping her until she couldn’t catch her breath any longer. The blows were continuous and brutal beyond belief.
All her hatred for the child, and for her father, the humiliation she had felt when she discovered that her husband had a girlfriend and was leaving them, were visited on Tammie who had no idea what she had done to deserve such a beating.
Tammie was nearly unconscious when her mother stopped beating her. There was blood in her little bed, and she felt like a knife was slicing through her each time she tried to breathe.
Two of her ribs were broken and she desperately needed to pee and she knew that if she did it in her bed her mother would kill her.
There was blood mated in Tammie’s hair as she lay in bed. The bruises she would wear the next day would be the worst she’d ever had.
It was the first time her mother had actually broken bones, and she was terrified and never doubted it would not be the last time.
She lay in her bed, unable to cry after her mother left, it hurt so much that she was unable to cry, she shook violently instead. She was desperately cold as her entire body trembled.
Her lips were swollen, her head ached, and every inch of her body hurt, but the worst was the searing pain from within whenever she tried to breathe and found that she couldn’t. she thought maybe she would die that night, and hoped that she would. There was nothing to live for.
Her father was leaving them and her mother hated her. She blamed her for her father’s infidelity. It was only a matter of time before her mother killed her.
Her mother slept in her black suit that night, too drunk and unable to undress. And Tammie lay in her own blood, waiting for the angel of death to claim her.
She tried to think of her father and the nice moments they had once shared, but she couldn’t think of that now, couldn’t think of anything now, she was in too much pain and hated her mother too much.
The hatred she felt took over everything. It almost made the pain bearable. And as she lay in her bed, at that very moment, her father was having dinner with his girlfriend. She didn’t matter to both of them.
Wherever he was Tammie knew that he couldn’t save her. She knew she was alone in the world, without saviours or friends. She had no one and nothing.
And as she lay there, unable to move that night, in too much pain, she finally peed in bed, and knew with utter certainty that in the morning, when her mother discovered it, she would kill her.
She lay thinking about it, welcoming it, wondering how the end would come, how much more it would hurt, or maybe it wouldn’t hurt at all ………. And as she thought of it, welcoming death into her life, she slipped mercifully into an inky blackness.
Tammie’s story is one of the many untold evils that our children have to endure everyday.
The people making our children’s lives unbearable are no longer strangers but people the children are close to and trust. Our children are no longer safe at home.
For six years now, Tammie has survived her mother’s beatings. Her mother complains that Tammie is intolerably spoiled, and has to be punished.
The tinniest mistake, like spilling milk is enough to earn her a serious and thorough beating.
Unlike other children of her age, who are left to play outdoors, or in their own rooms, Tammie is always busy scrubbing the kitchen floor, doing laundry, cooking and doing the dishes.
The beatings occur frequently and she is artful at hiding the bruises in school, from teachers and the few children she plays with.
Only once in her four years in school have the teachers observed something wrong with her.
Once her uniform slipped up her thigh while playing, and they saw the appealing bruises on her legs, when questioned, she explained that she had fallen off a tree.
Her mother will kill her if she tells anyone of the beatings.
Tammie believes, as she is told that she is to blame for her mother’s rage and her father’s failure to protect her. Her world is a confusing blend of terror, betrayal and pain.
No one can save her from the abuse that knows no boundaries and respects no person. Tammie grows up knowing there is no safe place to hide.
You and I can make a safe place for Tammie to hide. Everyday we see and hear of parents who brutally punish their children. As usual we mind our business and do nothing.
It’s good for a parent to discipline a child but some parents, out of rage go overboard. Society should protect children from such parents.
No child deserves to be brutally disciplined no matter the offence.
Parents should nature and love their children, and discipline should be within reason.
We all have our bad days and taking our rage out on children doesn’t make things better. A child should not live in fear in her own home, if anything that’s where she should be feeling safest.
It takes silence for evil to flourish, let’s not keep quiet when we know that a child is being abused let’s speak out for them and be brave enough to protect them. Let no child suffer again from our lack of love, our courage, or mercy.
mbinyaritah@yahoo.com
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