Ruining a child`s future under the name of love
 
2007-07-26 09:42:08
By Simbiso Machine

I have always written about loving our children and doing the best for them. I think that’s what every parent strives to do. However, I remember writing about drawing the line between loving and spoiling our children.

There is a way in which we as parents end up ruining the future of our children under the name of love. In as much as we should love our children, we ought to know where to stop.

Let me tell you a true story that touched my heart. A grade one pupil is dropped at school by his parents daily but they cannot pick him up in the afternoon when he finishes school because the dad works thirty kilometres out of town.

Because of this the boy has to ride in a daladala back home. He gets money to spend during break time plus money for transport.

The boy used to be taken by the maid in the first days of school till he started complaining that he doesn’t want the maid hanging around him because he is clever enough to ride home in a daladala on his own. The parents agree to this and he starts riding home on his own for quite sometime.

One day, the mother of the boy who happens to be a prominent lawyer in town was shocked to see her son enter her office in the afternoon.

Upon enquiry, the son told her that he had spent his money therefore ran short of bus fare and decided to visit the mother’s office so that he could ride home with his parents in the family car at the close of business.

This started happening frequently with the boy claiming that his bus fare had been stolen or whatever. The parents never seemed to mind this behaviour neither did they see anything wrong in the changes of the behaviour of their son.

When they spoke to me about it, they took it lightly and made fun of the whole ordeal.
Looking at it closely, I didn’t see anything funny about the boy’s behaviour.

I realized that the boy had started misusing money to the extent that he didn’t have bus fare at times which was quite dangerous.

I realized that the boy could get obsessed with the idea of spending money at such a tender age to the extent that he might end up stealing money just to spend.

Secondly, I don’t think it is safe for a five year old to travel alone using daladalas and crossing streets to either get home or to his mother’s office. What if he is run over by speeding drivers or kidnapped by greedy people in search of money?

There are a lot of things at stake and my belief is that if you have to send your child to a school far away from where you stay make sure you drive him to and from school.

What with the harassment and torture that school children are exposed to by daladala drivers, conductors and touts. This will obviously help in making your child grow up to be a rowdy human being.

I strongly feel that we should send our children to schools nearby if we cannot drive them to and from school.

Exposing them to harsh conditions might have negative results in the long run.

I had a chance to talk to that boy and I realized that he is exposed to a lot of things that no parent would like his or her child to be exposed to. These parents do not see it because they think they are doing their son a favour.

They think they are showing their son tender love and care when in actual fact they are spoiling his future.

They are actually shattering his dreams by so doing. We need to show our children the right way right from the start.

Why do you have to expose your child to the cash or money world in his early years of life? Remember money is the root of all evil. I am not saying we shouldn`t give our children money but all I am saying is we ought to take things slowly.

The five year old boy is so much in love with money to the extent that he has started lying about having lost his bus fare or having been robbed by fellow classmates when in actual fact he has used the money to buy goodies.

All this is avoidable, his parents could simply look for a school which is closer home or make arrangements to have the boy picked up from school daily so that he doesn`t have to handle bus fare. He started lying at a tender age because of the early exposure to the finance world.

He needs extra money to spend hence he has to lie about it and if he starts behaving so at five, what more will he do as he gets older? Will he concentrate on his education or will he divert attention to worldly pleasures and money issues?

We as parents should watch out against spoiling our own children under the name of love.

We should be able to say no to our children`s demands for their own good. The boy could have been a lot better had the parents stuck to their guns about the maid picking him up from school.

We ought to be firm and able to say no at times if we are to raise responsible and well balanced children.

We shouldn’t just give in to their demands for fear of disappointing them. Happy parenting!

firstmachine@coolgoose.com

• SOURCE: Guardian