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HIV/Aids: Marriage is no safe haven for women
2007-11-15 09:46:13
By Ebbinah Corah
World Aids Day is around the corner and there are so many activities lined up to commemorate the day. I have seen the activities target quite a number of people but I am yet to see them target married women.
My experience as a health practitioner has made me realize that married women are more at risk of contracting HIV than any other group of people. That sounds funny doesn’t it? Most people believe that commercial sex workers are the ones more vulnerable to the scourge.
Maybe a few years down the line that statement was true but not anymore. A lot of activities were organized to sensitize women engaging in commercial sex work and they have since realized that they are at risk. Research has proven that commercial sex workers have accepted their position and realize their risk so they adopted condom use.
The challenge remains with married women who believe that they cannot use condoms because they are married and faithful to one partner. They are afraid of what people will say if they get to know that they are using condoms in their matrimonial home. They believe so much that condoms are meant for commercial sex workers.
Speaking to some married men during a research that we conducted two months ago, I realized that sometimes men face problems trying to convince their spouse that they should use condoms.
The moment they introduce that subject, the wife gets angry and starts accusing the man of being unfaithful because if he were faithful why would he want to use condoms.
They would also accuse him of treating them like a commercial sex worker. Yet in most cases we would want to blame men for refusing to engage in safe sex.
This revelation from men made me realize that women need to face the reality and accept that they are much at risk just as other groups of people are. They ought to realize that marriage is no safety net.
You cannot engage in unsafe sex and think that the fact that you are a married woman will protect you.
It can’t because you don’t know what your partner does when he is away even if you know that you yourself are faithful so the best way is to play it safe.
Currently, it has been noted that married women are falling prey or succumbing to the disease more than any other group because of their conceptions and attitude towards the disease.
HIV/Aids has nothing to do with marital status, in fact, it has more to do with sexual behaviour and the sooner women realize this the better.
If women continue to refuse condom use because they are married, then they will continue to die because marriage or the marriage certificate will not protect them from contracting the virus as long as they engage in unprotected sex. It is the condom that will protect them from the scourge so they better stop shunning it and start looking at it as their own salvation.
They should stop looking at condom use with shameful and demeaning eyes. There is nothing unholy or ungodly about condom use because it is the only way that you can assure yourself of safety.
Oh yes we talk of trusting your partner but it is better to be more careful and not leave your entire life in someone’s hands no matter how much you love them.
The catchword is empowering yourself to take charge of your health and the condom is the only way that you can be assured of safety. Faithfulness depends on the other part, whilst you can advocate it, you cannot really enforce it and ultimately the honours lies on whether the other part wants to be faithful or not. So, can you really rely on that?
Women need to look at the condom with a lesser critical eye. They should stop stigmatizing against it. The only thing they should do is try and find ways of convincing their dear husbands to accept condom use so that they can be in control of their health. HIV/Aids is for real and has no cure yet therefore we wouldn’t want to risk our lives.
Women who care about their health and about living longer in order to raise their children should seriously think about the issue of condom use.
It’s no use pretending that our men do not cheat when they are doing it day in day out.
Also some women cheat themselves and this is reason enough to use condoms so that we all get protected and reduce the number of orphans who always lead a life of misery because of some careless adults who were not prepared to take precautions.
Forewarned is forearmed, at present the only protection that we have against HIV/Aids is playing it safe. We cant talk of abstinence in married life because of the issue of conjugal rights, therefore the only thing we can do is advocate faithfulness but at the same time using condoms just to be double sure that we are safe. In case the other partner slips, we will still be sure that we are safe.
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