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Women at the mercy of brutal men
2007-06-24 09:36:34
By Guardian on Sunday Reporters
God privileged Aisha Abbas (43) with all the five basic human senses: seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting. But ``thanks`` to the brutality of her husband, she lost the second one almost totally.
Aisha`s story typifies the physical pain and emotional anguish that several women suffer at the hands of initially loving men with whom they forged matrimonial and other forms of male-female partnerships, but who subsequently turned beastly.
The lady has for nine months now been a guest of The House of Peace, a Dar es Salaam-based non-governmental organisation that counsels, cares for and gives solace to displaced women and children.
Aisha is nursing harrowing memories of a love-less marriage lasting 23 years, the most disturbing aspect of which was battery.
The lady explains that not long after getting married at the age of 20, her husband started beating her brutally, usually for flimsy reasons.
Aisha picks up the story: ``I complained to relatives, local government authorities and religious leaders, but my husband ignored all efforts for peaceful co-existence.``
She explained that the repeated beatings - mainly targetting ears had left her almost totally deaf, compelling whoever speaks to her to raise his or her voice.
Aisha says her patience had run out and she was not prepared to re-unite with her husband, adding that she wouldn`t take legal action against him as this would violate the customary values of the part of Kilimanjaro Region (Same) to which she belongs.
However much a husband wrongs a woman, the mother of three explained, it was taboo to sue him.
Aisha cannot afford to send the children to school. The little money trickling in from a petty fish-selling trade into which she invested a 100,000/- loan she secured under the auspices of The House of Peace, is barely enough to cover the cost of basic essentials.
My best friend snatched my husband Zaitun Joachim (20) is also under the care of The House of Peace. Her husband threw her out of their matrimonial home when their son was hardly a month old.
The boy, now aged one-and-a-half years, was yelling and crying incessantly during the interview with her mother.
Zaitun has been at the shelter for 16 months now and she says she does not have any relatives.
Her late father, Joachim Chengula, a one-time Kilombero Sugar Company employee, died last year. Her mother Tabu Paskali, died much earlier.
``My very best friend has ruined my life. She took my place during my absence and our friendship has landed me into disaster.
Upon coming back from Kilombero where I went to attend to my sick father and his eventual burial, incidentally with an advanced pregnancy, my man pounced upon me beatings and insults,`` she said.
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