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Poor Jesus, they`re still crucifying him
2008-03-23 10:21:56
By Anthony Muchoki
If you have never known, Bongoland is a blessed land. Not only with a kind people and almost every natural resource you think of but also in a way it is a land of Bible.
If you didn’t know one of the sons of King Solomon (in turn the son of David) is buried somewhere in the slopes of Mt. Kilimanjaro.
No wonder everything associated with the name `Kili` when converted into business, you get roaring profits, which like the lions of Lake Manyara National Park, can climb trees.
It is from the Solomonic lineage, there was born one of the most beautiful woman ever, whose pretty name was Mary.
Because she was so very beautiful and holy, she impressed the God of Israel and David, who decided, she was the one who was going to carry the saviour of the world in her womb.
To cut the long story short, the pretty girl got pregnant without having carnal knowledge of any man. It is said the spirit of God filled her, and there she was - pregnant.
The man who came to save the world was born in Bethlehem during a public holiday.
And like in Bongo, during public holidays all the guest houses are booked full house, not by husbands and their wives, but by men and women having fun. Don`t ask me what they do inside those rooms.
Because all the guest houses were booked, Mary had to give birth to Jesus at a cowshed.
The young Jesus was very clever making his father Joseph proud of his decision to stick with Mary even after she became pregnant though she claimed she was still a virgin.
Jesus did quite a number of good things in Bethlehem and all surrounding areas. He preached, healed and fed the poor. One day, he even turned water into `mbege` that was so sweet, such that if it was in Moshi…. All the sons of Kilimanjaro could have become his followers.
For all his good deeds, there were jealous members of a certain opposition party that was very powerful.
They conspired to have him killed. One of Jesus` disciples called Judas the betrayer was bribed to sell off his master.
One Friday, they hanged him on the tree. Not the Richmond style.
This was a proper hanging where as he cried “Aba papa, why have you left me?`` and his soul departed from his body, there was darkness in the whole world.
Even the Maasai saw the darkness. The members of the opposition buried him. They decided to put a heavy concrete stone on his grave.
After all, the son of David or the son of man as he used to call himself many times, had told the world if killed he would rise up again to conquer the whole world.
The opposition hired two Goliath size and powered guards to safeguard Jesus` grave.
They had powerful machine guns and similar missile to the ones G.W. Bush used to topple Iron Saddam Hussein five years ago.
The opposition instructed the guards to kill Jesus if by any chance he decided to resurrect.
God is more powerful than man. Jesus walked out of the grave the third day. And the powerful guards could do nothing. The opposition was speechless.
It was an unbelievable miracle.
From that day, the followers of the son of man call the day he was nailed on the cross Good Friday and the day he rose up from the dead, Easter Monday.
As I told you earlier, the land of Kilimanjaro has some links with Solomon one of his sons buried at the slopes of the mountain could have married a local woman…. If historians could do their homework well, I would not be surprised to hear some brothers and sisters in Bongoland are relatives of Jesus Christ.
Last word: This Easter holiday stop crucifying Jesus: Don’t fornicate, don`t commit adultery… don’t sin if you call yourself a follower of Jesus. If my advice is followed many guest houses will be empty and we can have reduced HIV/Aids infections. Adieu
Anthony Muchoki is a creative writer. His forthcoming title is ``Binti wa Misitu.``
amuchoki@gmail.com
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