Hooray! Mamba sees own rumps in cronyism & others

06Mar 2016
Nkwazi Mhango
Guardian On Sunday
Humour
Hooray! Mamba sees own rumps in cronyism & others

As any boozer, I didn’t expect Jan Makamba’s accusations against Jake Kiquette. I didn’t expect this given that the accuser is one of the beneficiaries of the crime of which he’s been accusing Kiquette.

Makamba’s recently quoted as accusing the past government of cronyism, favouratism nepotism and nihilism, among others.

Though Makamba’s allegations are true, he’s supposed to be the last to attack the very system that cloned him. Again, why’d he care if the said government’s already packed and vanished into the oblivion?

Makamba, sorry, I mean Mamba is very smart. He’s trying to entice Makufuli, just like any other dudes we see self-dressing down in order to stay in ulaji.

Don’t play with ulaji especially in the upper echelons of power. But one thing’s obvious. After Makufuli lapses his time in office, the same Mamba will treat him the same way he’s now disparaging his godfather.

Let’s dissect Mamba a wee bit using our bhang and kanywaji knowledge. Besides being the son of a party bigwig, what political qualifications does Mamba have to deserve such a position? Methinks.

He and Dr Hussy Mwinyi should thank Kiquette for favouring and protecting them as Mamba say that the former government was good at favouring and protecting corrupt, inept and officials among whom are children of the high and the mighty. Mamba is lucky.

I remember. His dad once blathered that his son would be appointed a minister. Against all odds, soon thereafter, he bacame.

Lucky him; had the said government being ethical and manned by an accountable head, such irresponsible utterances would have stopped his appointment.

Again, given that the hunk was on autopilot and manned by an ever-smiling guy who’s never been serious in anything, who’d bother to torture his head to look into ethics while favouratism, nepotism, cronyism and nihilism took the place of ethics?

Essentially, Mamba’s words are but self-inculpatory. They justify our assumptions that this hunk’s become another kingdom through the back door whereby certain clans have held it on ransom.

Look at Dry Minmi, Knipe Mapped Nanuet and others whose qualifications are nothing but their parents’ big names. I won’t wonder one day evidencing Ruiz Coquette becoming a minister.

I’ll be shocked beyond comparison shall Makufuli keep Mamba in his fold. How dangerous this is retaining an opportunist that’ll turn the tables on you after vacating the highest office?

Had Makufuli been left alone to do as he’d planned, given that he climbed the ladder without any godfather, he would have taken to divorce dudes like Mamba.

It is very easy to know why Coquette cloned Mamba. First of all, he too was cloned by McZee Runa apart from being a soldier like Mamba’s dad.

Who knows what they did when they were soldiers so as to become close allies? Again, Mamba’s revelations make it harder for the general public to trust him.

Why now not then even if taking on nepotism and cronyism would cost him his ullage due to his patriotism?

Can Mamba tell us in honesty what forced him to take a swipe on his creator or he’s trying to entice Makufuli for the sake of ullage? If Mamba was able to easily turn the tables on his creator, surely, one day, he’ll replicate this to Makufuli.

I fully concur with Mamba that the former government was irresponsible vis-à-vis nepotism and corruption. Who’d think that bigwigs alleged to have forged their academic qualifications would not be touched?

Remember how Morongo Malanga, Billy Lucia, Mary Nag, Emanuel Chimdi and Diode Kamara were accused of the vice? What happened to them? Zilch!

Remember how Coquette beseeched EPA thieves to return the loot instead of baking them. I remember how Coquette told us to stop harassing Ben Moapa when allegations surfaced that he, his family, in-laws and friends acquired Kaila Coal Mine illegally.

As if that’s not enough, Coquette went ahead and defended Escrow saying that the dosh it robbed from our vaults didn’t belong to us.

The list is very long. Remember how he controversially appointed chaps like Abdulla Shembo (ambassador), Paul Makonde who’s accused of assaulting McZee Jose Kariba and Miming Rweyemamu (DCs) despite being tarnished not to forget Silvie Rweyemamu to be the head of presidential Press unit.

Remember the mothers of all scandals that Kiquette pushed under the rags? Let me jog your mind a wee bit. Remember Richmond, Escrow and UDA scams?

Last but not least remember how Freddie Werema threatened the Swiss former Ambassador, Olivier Chave when he said that his government tried to help Bongo to retrieve millions of dollars stashed in Swiss banks but the Bongo’s government became noncompliant.

In sum, I urge Mamba to search his soul and be honest. Is there any way he’d have become a minister without cronyism, nepotism and favouratism?

If I were him, I’d make an apology and relinquish my position to show how clean and morally upright I am. Guess what. The monkey doesn’t see its rumps.