Seven rules for life - 3

18Nov 2018
Eliana Mwibari
Guardian On Sunday
Seven rules for life - 3

IT is my hope that you we are all doing great and working hard to accomplish the goals we set for ourselves at the beginning of this year as we approach the end of the year 2018.

For some of us I believe our goals have been met while for some they haven’t yet.

If your one of us whose goals are yet to be accomplished yet, don’t give up; you still have got some time. Don’t throw in the towel; don’t give up. What you have been trying, or what has not been working for you since January can still work now.

If you made mistakes, I hope you have learnt your lessons and now you are wiser and stronger and ready do make everything right.

For the past three weeks I have been sharing with you a couple of lessons that the world has taught me; lessons that have helped me make my life easy and fulfilling.

We looked at different lessons such as the importance of making peace with your past for the future to exist in your life. We looked at why important it is to always believe in yourself and focus on what you believe and you want in life because what others think of you is none of your business.

We also looked at the fact that you are your own source of happiness and that happiness is a choice; so choose to be happy.

 We also looked at the fact that comparison is a thief of joy, you are perfectly made and beautiful and if you work hard to achieve whatever it is that you want, you can have it. So never compare yourself or success with others.

Today we have come to the last part of our lessons and we are going to look at a few more lessons that life has taught me. My hope is that they will relate with you in certain ways and be able to help you have a life of happiness.

Time heals almost everything, so give it time. For me this has been one of the very important lessons that I have learnt. You know, as human beings we sometimes come across disappointments, betrayal, failures that really break our hearts, and sometimes we give up and think that our lives have come to the end and that we can’t keep going any more.

We come across circumstances in life, such as the loss of our loved one, the person you loved most breaks your heart by moving on when you really need them, our dreams and what we desire the most and worked hard to get are taken away right in front of our own eyes. We watch our world being crushed right in front of our eyes.

I have learnt that that’s just part of life, and the biggest mistake you can ever make is to give up. I remember a couple of years ago when I wanted to go abroad for further studies abroad, to the USA to be exact.

I risked almost everything. I was working for an international bank but I left from time to time to go to do my exams and to go for a visa interview because I had to travel a very long distance. Sometimes it I would be away from office for a week or two.

Guess what, I did it because I really wanted to go abroad. But things did not work out the way I wanted to. I ended up losing my job and, guess what? I did not go abroad too! I must say that was one of the most difficult times that I ever went through. And, as if that was not enough, I went through a heart break at around the same time.

I was so heart broken. I felt like my life had come to an end. What a life! And I was in my early twenties for God’s sake! Now that I have grown up I think I felt that way because it was the first disappointment I ever faced.

I thank God that it took me a couple of months before I started picking myself up, went out and searched for a new job, which I finally got and life went on.

Now that I am grown up I can confidently confess that what I went through almost a decade ago wasn’t meant to kill me but to make me stronger and wiser and my faith grew.

 I honestly don’t know what would have happened if I had given up and conformed to the disappointments that I faced and maybe believed I was not the lucky one, because I had a couple of friends who we were going through the same process together but they succeeded and I failed. 

It took me a very long time to even be able to talk about it. It was hard. I used to lock myself in my room all day long.

But by the grace of God it came to pass. Now I can talk about it any day and any time because I believe there might be somebody out there who relates to what I went through or it even could be they are going through it right now. I want to encourage you that it’s not the end of the world.

You can make it and you can make it big, just get up, dust yourself off, come up with another plan and show up again. I know it hurts, but give it time because it really is true that time heals everything.

Another lesson that I want to share with you is: stop thinking so much, it’s alright not to have all the answers. Yes, I said it - it’s alright not to know all the answers.

We always ask ourselves, why me? Why this time? How could it happen to me and again I will say what I have been saying everything happens for a reason. I believe we can all relate that, we believe somehow that we are only entitled to get the good things in life and that the disappointments are made for other people.

So what happens is that when we come across such circumstances we start asking ourselves a lot of questions which you literally have no answers to. I remember one of my teachers once shared his story.

He was found to be having cancer and he could not believe it. He started asking himself a lot of questions such as ‘why me?’ ‘How is it possible?’ ‘How could it be me?’ Later he realized that he was being unreasonable and he started answering himself: if not me then who should this happen to? Do I have his/her phone number and address?

From that moment he accepted the fact that it was okay to go through challenges and no one is exempt or immune from such circumstances. So, whenever you find yourself asking yourself tough questions that have no answers just remember that that’s part and parcel of life and focus on the positive aspect of it.

Last, but not least, I have learnt that I should always smile because, honestly, I don’t own all the problems in the world. I remember hearing this sentence a long time ago that says - a smile adds value to your face. I know it is sometimes hard to smile all the time, but it is important to keep smiling.

When you smile you let go of the negative energy that might be haunting you, and by smiling you will attract the good things your way.

 Let me ask you this: have you ever gone into an office and once you enter through the door you find, let’s say, five people at their desks. Some of them stare at you while some keep working and don’t even look at you. But one of them smiles at you.

Where will you go to get assistance? I believe unconsciously you will be attracted to the person who smiled at you and you will automatically walk towards their table or desk for assistance. So, always keep smiling; it is good not only for you but also for the people around you.

I hope you have learnt a few lessons that will help you live a life full of joy and happiness. Wishing you all the luck and blessings as we approach the end of 2018. Keep going; keep fighting for your goals, and don’t forget to keep smiling.

Until next week, stay blessed.

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